


A Pantomime in Place of a Dance

by Tea_and_Nightmarescapes (Anxious_Trickster)



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Child Abuse, Five POV, Five gets cerebral when things get emotional, Gen, Grace-centric, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Let Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) Say Fuck, Questioning Reality, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, The author pretends they know things about AI and philosophy, The author rambles, a bit of a character study, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 13:41:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19274473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxious_Trickster/pseuds/Tea_and_Nightmarescapes
Summary: In his youth, he had been angry. He watched Grace stand by while Reginald made his siblings cry, made his siblingsscream, and thought that only something truly inhuman could smile and do nothing. He shrugged off her comforting touches, because she was cold, because she was amachine.ORFive attempts to answer the question that haunts all the Hargreeves





	A Pantomime in Place of a Dance

**Author's Note:**

> For the Summer of Seven prompt: _Robot Dance_
> 
> This could potentially be triggering for people with feelings of derealization and paranoia.

There is something that has been nagging Five for a very long time.

Four weeks after the apocalypse had been averted, a calm settled over the Hagreeves mansion. Subsequently, that meant that his siblings felt free to ask him to do whatever the hell came to mind like he was their own personal errand boy. Luther asked him to analyze his moon data. Allison asked him to help her pick out the color to paint Claire’s room. Klaus asked him for help in stealing clothes. Ben asked him to flip the pages of a book he’s been wanting to read. Vanya doesn’t ask him for shit because she is too nice. And Diego-

Diego asked him to take a look at Grace, who had been acting strangely since the funeral.

…

_“Hey Five, can you do me a favor?”_

_“No. Fuck off.”_

...

It had something to do with Reginald messing with her programming before his death. Typical of the bastard, really.

Five had agreed to at least try, because he is a _genius_ , and it wouldn’t due to have Diego walking around emoting in Five’s personal space. _‘Try’_ being the optimal word. In the end, he was left with a fist full of wires, lines upon lines of incomprehensible code, and the general feeling of- _what on earth?_

It would be an understatement to say that the nuances of Reginald’s programming eluded him. It was unlike any human technologies he’d come across in all his years. Reviewing Reginald’s strange and bombast ramblings were of no help either.

And while his attempt may have been a failure, it did unearth a very old question; one that he had put aside due to distance, and more important matters such as gathering food to survive.

_Does Grace have a consciousness?_

That is the kind of thing that Five would usually leave for philosophers and saints, and he is not much of either. But when Five is presented with a puzzle, the compulsion to solve it is nearly irresistible, and let it be known that Five isn’t anything if not persistent.

In his youth, he had been angry. He watched her stand by while Reginald made his siblings cry, made his siblings _scream_ , and thought that only something truly inhuman could smile and do nothing. He shrugged off her comforting touches, because she was cold, because she was a _machine._

He’d like to imagine that he had gained some measure of wisdom in his old age, he knows what it’s like to be a tool in someone’s hand, and he’s had a lot of time to ruminate on the subject after all.

So in order to determine the extent of Grace’s cognitive abilities, Five must firstly consider the Turing test.

The premise of the Turing Test is thus:

If a computer can converse with a person, and the person believes that the computer is another person, thus the computer is intelligent. It has a mind and can think.

Adhering to the rules of functionalism, if x acts like a mind, it is a mind.

If Five were to give x and a mind the same input, and both x and the mind yield the same results, then hypothetically he can conclude that x is a mind.

Because the most simplistic and utilitarian answer is always correct- Just kidding, that’s fucking stupid.

Just because a machine could _simulate_ human thought, that doesn’t mean it has a mind. That doesn’t mean it is a thinking being. That doesn’t mean a fucking thing

It is possible that while Grace simulates human psychology and human behavior, she does so in the same way that other devices might simulate the weather or model economic systems, but they themselves don’t have cognitive states.

Therefore, the Turing test is not a test for actual intelligence and is not sufficient to show that any computer has mental states, including Grace.

...

When they were children, Five remembers an instance in which Klaus cried. Not an uncommon occurrence unfortunately, but that particular time was notable do to it’s circumstances.

It had been a grueling day of sparing, leaving Five utterly drained. Five jumped into the kitchen to make one of his notorious peanut butter and marshmallows sandwiches, in hopes of recovering a measure of energy. Over the scraping of his butter knife, a faint crying could be heard coming from the infirmary. Klaus had been absent for their group spar that day for “personal training”, otherwise known as “personal torture”. Five never knew what Klaus did during those times, but whatever it was, it was never good.

Ever curious, Five jumped again outside the infirmary door, left slightly ajar, and peered through the crack.

Grace and Klaus were amidst a hug. Klaus was curled up against her, sobs racking his small frame. Grace hummed softly, rubbing circles on his back and running her hand through his hair. Five couldn’t think of the last time that level of comfort was given by anyone in the household, but then again, Reginald wasn’t present at the moment; a rarity.

...

Mere rule-governed symbol-manipulation cannot generate intentionality.

Intentionality is the ability of mental states to be about something, to stand for things, properties, and states of affairs.

Perceptions, beliefs, desires and intentions are mental states with intentionality, and they have content.

The only reason we think that programs refer to anything is that we interpret them to do so. The content comes from us.

The thing is, formal symbol manipulations by themselves are meaningless. The intentionality computers appear to have, exists solely in the minds of those who have programmed them and those who use them, those who send in the input and those who interpret the output.

The TV doesn’t see characters, or understand dialogue, or root for the hero to save the princess; the viewer does.

The TV manipulates pixels in response to input. That is all.

...

It takes a week after the botched extinction event, for Grace to agree to leave the manor for the first time. Diego takes her hand and leads her through the park with a tenderness. Her face lights up in a way Five has never seen before, and she looks on in wonder at the green grass and rustling leaves.

...

 _“Could a machine think?”_ Maybe that's really the crux of the matter. Maybe not.

One could argue that a machine is the only thing that could think in the first place. That only a very special kind of machine, aka the brain, is all that can have that particular ability. A machine made of flesh, and goo, and all the gross stuff is no less a machine. That being said, it could be possible for one to build something so complex that it would be equivalent (maybe?).

 _“Could a machine think?”_ Maybe if all of Grace’s metal sheets and moving parts had the same internal causal powers as a human brain, then yes, she could. In short, the brain does stuff, and mental events are a by-product of that activity.

But even if she was able to simulate neurons firing, would she be able to recreate what really matters about the brain? Namely its ability to produce internal states of mind. Are the formal properties sufficient for the causal properties?

 _“Could a machine think?”_ Even if there is only the smallest possibility, don’t they owe it to her to treat her as if she could? Just based on that smallest possibility?

He wonders if Reginald himself even knew the answer.

...

_“Grace, would you say that you possess a consciousness?”_

_“I’m awake right now, silly-billy”_

...

Then again, the same could be applied to “normal” people. There is no actual way to prove consciousness exists, outside your own of course.

Five could grab one of his siblings, cut open their skull and observe the brain matter contained within. He could follow the formal structures, and trace the sequences of neurons firings at the synapses. But like the microchips and cables in under Grace’s synthetic skin, the physical isn’t empirical proof of sentience. He could demand Allison to talk, or Klaus to dance, or Vanya to play her violin, and try to determine if this behavior seemed intelligent. But it could also be argued that this behavior could merely be a good imitation, just like Grace might be.

Even now, Five could be all alone in a dead world.

...

_“Klaus, would you say that you possess a consciousness?”_

_“God, I hope not.”_

...

He remembers trying to explain it to Luther once.

_“It’s a thought experiment usually referred to as the ‘philosophical zombie’ . A person, otherwise known as a ‘zombie’ would be indistinguishable from any other normal human being. However, they would lack a consciousness, aka internal experiences such as taste or understanding. For instance, if a philosophical zombie were to be burned, they would not inwardly feel pain, but outwardly act exactly as if they did feel pain. “_

_Luther responds to him with a dazed expression, indicating to Five that he wasn’t listening. Five curls his fists in a flash of irritation._

_“For all I know, you could be a philosophical zombie yourself, you sure act brainless enough to be up for consideration.”_

...  
Everything in this world is so dependent on belief and trust.

Five tries not to ruminate on that line of thinking for too long (that way lies madness). It’s just a dumb thought experiment anyway.  
...

As Grace sets down a plate of cookies on the table, and puts a hand on his shoulder; he wonders, if he were magically presented with the solution;

Would he want to know the answer?

...

He thinks of a maze, a winding linear trajectory with sections blacked out and closed away. He thinks of something childlike, it’s understanding of the world limited by its capabilities. He thinks of a very real woman drowning in a cage filled with water. And he wonders.

**Author's Note:**

> Did anyone even enjoy reading this one? Did I make a point? Did I make sense?
> 
> How does one write a character that is 1000 times smarter than them? Asking for a friend.
> 
> Anyway, have a lovely day everyone, not even gonna plug my stuff.


End file.
